
CAN'T GET ANY SMARTER
A new study at MIT confirms that just as always supposed, Americans in fact do know more than anybody else, and for all practical purposes, Americans basically know all there is to know, or all that is worth knowing, as it were.
Street interviews were conducted in several cities as a follow up to the study.
In Kentucky coal country, a man was asked what he thought of the results as he hoisted himself into his monster truck about 4 feet off the ground in front of a convenience store.
“Shit, tell me somethin’ I don’t know already!” he spat through a spray of black chewing tobacco and saliva, and maybe even a little coal, too.
“We don’t stray too far from the fambly lookin for wives and keep the younguns at their chores and outta them schoolhouses, that’s why too!”
Then he peeled out.
And in Idaho, a 28-year old mother of seven asserts, “Well, you don’t see none of us wearin’ no turbans on our heads, do ya?”
A companion study also confirmed that each American is a superior driver than his/her peers.
“That’s obvious,” said one fellow in California.
“That explains why all these idiots are always trying to get in my lane!”
These and other studies are part of a nationwide effort to determine how and why Americans are so good.
“Goddamnit, we just are, that’s why,” shrieked another mother loading up at Wal-Mart.
“We don’t need to tell nobody why!”
This entry was posted on Friday, February 5th, 2010 at 11:27 pm and is filed under news commentary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

